It is finally over and I’m officially liberated from my books and lecture notes! Well, met up with sihui-the-ape, pris and ser after my modern paper. I guess the time spent together was pretty enjoyable and it has been a long long time since I had a hard hard laugh! Thank you for taking the effort to meet up! =))
I guess many things have changed during this short period of time. He was so madly in love with her just a few months ago, and now, they’ve become mere acquaintance. Life is full of uncertainty, things change, people change even our feelings and opinions alter as time passes too. Is it not scary? I often wonder what’ll happen to us when these changes/challenges come running in our way when we’re unprepared. Will we be paralyzed with fear? Or will we embrace the situation calmly? Then and again, there is no guarantee for anything.(I hereby welcome you to the modern world, HAHA!)
Yan, Diana and I did something highly ironical today. YES- we went to the library! Actually I quite like the library; it’s rather peaceful and serene! Picked up a book entitled “LIFE CHOICES, LIFE CHANGES” while browsing the shelves. I guess its time for me to really sit down and read these self-help books cos I’ve been bothering sihui and mum and aunt and dad and seying and all my poor victims about my emotional problems very lately! Yes, I know it can get quite irritating at times and I hope this book helps! =)) The author says:
“Unresolved feelings are harmful to our insides, both physically and emotionally. It is only when we face the feelings and the doubts openly, and are able to say “so be it”, that we can forgive others and ourselves, say goodbye and move forward into the light.”
可是，谈何容易？
Sihui and I had a heart-to-heart chat after dinner last night where we came to a conclusion that we’re fundamentally identical. Unresolved feelings and relationships seem weird to us, and more than often, we being mere human, are unable to face up to these unresolved stuffs because THEY’RE UNRESOLVED.(ok, doesn’t make sense!)How are we supposed to continue on and behave as per normal when things are not yet resolved? In the aspect of friendship, ah meng advocated that we should accept superficial friendship (laugh-chat-talk-smile) when we’re facing a friendship crisis. But then and again, my character doesn’t allow me to do so. How can I face a friend normally when things are still hanging and that problems are still unresolved? But if one is unable to accept this superficial friendship (the most crucial stepping stone/ initial stage of reconciliation), then there would be no progression. Rather confusing and devastating, and they generate dilemma!
I was just sharing with ah meng about those striking lines which I’ve came across while reading Eliot’s “Murder in the Cathedral”. (No, I can’t appreciate this book, REALLY!).
“Endurance of friendship does not depend upon ourselves, but upon circumstance. But circumstance is not undetermined. unreal friendships may turn to real, but real friendship, once ended, cannot be mended.”
CAN IT NOT BE MENDED?
Personally, I’ve always been a firm believer that I should do all things with love, and that my love for my friends can transcend all things. I’ve always told myself that things will change for the better, but apparently, in my opinion, things haven’t been going well. The ape says that I’ve loved too much, 自作多情! (点自作自受.)But what’s wrong with caring and loving your friends? And now, I really don’t know how much effort I should put into new friendships because I don’t wanna go through another emotional turmoil all over again. AYE, this is the plight of the modern men, don’t you think?
